Record Mirror Interview, Nov. 17, 1973
What is your favourite colour?
CS: “Red is the colour. Football is the game. Arsenal is the name!”
What is your favourite drink?
CS: “Anything from Chateau Lafitte.”
What are you going to do with all the money you are about to earn now that you have signed with World Wide Artists?
CS: “I am going to buy Sweden.”
What kind of girls do you like?
CS: “American Latinas who speak Swedish with a French accent.”
Have you learned c#minor yet?
CS: “I’m NOT a pedophile!”
Which of your fellow Hollywood Brats is most likely to be pussy-whipped?
CS: “Wayne Manor.”
Who is your favourite Nazi?
CS: “That’s got to be Rudolph Hess, who inspired Chuck Berry to write “Run, Run Rudolph”.”
What are your musical influences?
CS: “Spike Jones.”
When was the last time you threw up?
CS: “Today but I’m sure it won’t be the last time.”
When was the last time you cried?
CS: “During last night’s ‘Coronation Street’. Stan and Hilda Ogden had a row.”
What do you think of Edward Heath?
CS: “I think he’s great but his orchestra is crap!”
Has the coal miner’s strike affected your sex life?
CS: “I have always preferred oil.”
What actress/actor would you most like to punch or shag or both?
CS: “Susan George.”
Why can’t the Hollywood Brats work with a producer?
Which Hollywood Brat most reminds you of Hitler?
CS: “No doubt Andrew, who lives in a bunker.”
Which Hollywood Brat most reminds you of Danny LaRue?
CS: “Everyone but me.”
What is your favourite TV program?
CS: “The Tommy Cooper Show.”
What is your favourite film?
CS: “A Clockwork Orange”
Which Hollywood Brat would most benefit from a knee in the groin?
CS: “Wayne Manor ‘cause he’s a bass player.”
Which Hollywood Brat is least likely to be found when it’s his round?
CS: “Same as the answer for the Danny LaRue question.”
How many Hollywood Brats are circumcised?
CS: “Ask our groupies. We’re all for brotherly sharing so they should know.”
Where do you expect to be in thirty years?
CS: “Probably in jail.”